Rick's b.log - entry 2025/11/01

Yeah, just drive over my lawn why don't you

They moved the picnic table in order to pass.

By the looks of things, a big agricultural vehicle drove across the grass down to where Anna is, turned around, and drove back again.

I looked at my camera footage and, well, this.

Uh-hu, subtle isn't in your repertoire, is it?

Yeah, that's pretty big.

And on the way back it was followed by this.

He tears around the field on this thing.

My wonderful "neighbour". 😠

I printed out the photos along with a message saying, basically, that driving heavy things across my grass - especially when the ground it soft from rain and you've left tracks - is completely unacceptable. DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN.

Two days later he delivered a handwritten "apology" saying that he had broken down and didn't want to drive the big machine across the newly sown field (logical enough) and that he would have asked first if I'd been home (irrelevant).
The process took about three minutes, so yeah, the thing drove down and got his quad started, turned around, drove back.

If they had any respect for my property, then they would have parked the big thing at the end of the driveway and pushed the quad - like if it needed a jump start or somesuch.

I saw his older brother when I took flowers to mom's grave. He was all "oh! ah! whoa!" about the photos. I'm guessing they probably weren't expecting to be noticed despite leaving two sets of tracks across the grass. That'll be fun to mow over for the next year or two until it settles down. Might even be more fun than what the mole gets up to.

I'll let this drop, but if there should be a next time I'll tell him he has one calendar week to make it right otherwise I'll make an official complaint. I'll need to go see the mayor to determine the process. Mi gazon n'est pas su gazon, m'kay?

Abusing a pumpkin

I drew eyes and a mouth on my pumpkin with magic marker, then cut out those parts, opened the top, and scooped out the viscera.

How normies do pumpkins.

This is where normal people stop. They might pop a tealight candle inside, or these days maybe a USB chargeable childproof safety light...

...but not me. I decided it has been too long since my last severely traumatised pumpkin. Six years. Wow.

So this time, I thought I'd go all out.

How Rick does a pumpkin.

The most expensive part was the use of a transfusion kit to squirt petrol out through the mouth of the pumpkin. Funny thing is, though, that petrol is nowhere near as flammable as you'd think - a fair bit of it simply rained out as, well, drops of combustible hydrocarbons that passed through fire and didn't do the bangy-burny thing. 🤷

Trust me, it took immense time to insert all of those matches. I think there's maybe five or six hundred inserted into the pumpkin, another two or three hundred on top (with the stems clipped off), and some sparklers just, well, because.
The end result? A very pleasing fwoof! that took maybe a minute. Through the magic of video editing, slow motion, and a rather nice AI generated soundtrack, the end result is...actually way more epic than reality.
But, then, that's the point isn't it? Any idiot can stick a bunch of matches into a pumpkin, and this idiot did, but it's how the event is remembered and shared that makes it worthwhile.

And since this is 2025 and nobody has an ounce of "common sense" any more, before the video I feel obliged to say: Do not try this yourself / Do not play with matches / Do not play with petrol / Do NOT do this indoors. Let me do dumb things with pumpkins so you don't have to. 😉

YouTube Error 153

Anyway, while this makes it harder to test these entries as they're being written offline, to have it work on the website, this should be added to the iframe: title="YouTube video player" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" Also, while you're at it, be sure to link to https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/ - your EU viewers will appreciate it.

I wonder how many other YouTube links are broken? 🤔

Toussaint

I forgot to get potatoes - duh! - so I think I'll probably try to thicken up the sauce a little and then serve it alongside peas and broccoli or upon a bed of rice. I haven't yet decided. Probably the veg as I also have a squishy mess in the breadmaker that will, I hope, become bread. Suffice to say that I ought to have something nice for about 6pm.

I started at so early because I was in the village church for half ten. My obligation to mom, even though I find the "trendy seventies music" to be bizarre and the gory painted wood carvings to be grotesque. I would be inclined to describe the entire edifice as grotesque, but then I wasn't brought up Catholic. I would imagine a catholic person walking into a typical CofE church might be inclined to notice the lack of, well, everything. There's no bling. There are no saints. Not a drop of gold to be found. And there's nobody hanging off the cross. But, then, there are some fundamental differences of interpretation that are far deeper than "there's no Pope". I'll skip over that because, to be honest, I don't believe in the beardy bloke in the clouds, whatever version of Abrahamic mythology is on offer. It's basically varying interpretations of the same story that, as is usual for humans, started off largely in agreement and then went right off the rails. And is also usual for humans, rather than accept that two people read the same thing and came to different conclusions, we'd rather label those "others" as sinners, heathens, infidels, whatever and ascribe some form of glory (usually in a nebulous afterlife) to those who do the world a favour by ridding it of some of those "others". Proof, if any were needed, that religion is the creation of man and not a god or godlike entity.

Anyway, let's backpedal a little and make a few bold assumptions. Jesus is real. He is the son of God. And he comes back to Earth after two thousand and twenty seven years just to mess with us.
Why 2027? It's a prime number.
Not only that, but it can be the sum of 15 consecutive primes: 101, 103, 107, 109, 113, 127, 131, 137, 139, 149, 151, 157, 163, 167, and 173).
Not only that, but it can be the sum of twenty five consecutive primes: 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97, 101, 103, 107, 109, 113, 127, 131, 137, 139.
We know how religious types like numerology even though they'll decry such things as the work of the devil. And I don't just mean the '7' perfection, '666' mark of the devil stuff. Why did the disciples catch 153 fish? Well, 1+2+3+4+...+16+17 is, you guessed it, 153. It's a triangular number and it seems that seventeen represents both judgement and deliverance - the Flood begins on the 17th day of the month (Gen 7:11) and the Ark finally comes to rest on the 17th day of the 7th month (Gen 8:4). More recently, it was imagined that 10 signifies the law (like the ten commandments) and 7 signifies grace (like the seven days of creation). Together that's 17, and a triangular number based upon 17 represents the gathering of the "saved", or 153. Oh, and 17 is also a prime number.

So, it makes sense that Jesus will return in 2027, a prime number.

And he will see people have created a belief system around him. Their symbol? The thing that was used to kill him. Effigies of him in agony - the Stations of the Cross. Do you think, with all that he did, that this is how he would like to be remembered?
Bibles made, with his words printed in red - as if they're somehow more important than the words of the dude that made, well, everything. Indeed, the entire New Testament might count. And if he should try to do a miracle or two to demonstrate that he is The Son Of God, well, he is unlikely to be killed this time. But he may well be sectioned with a bunch of people that claim the exact same thing - you can't be Jesus, I am Jesus! Meanwhile any miracle he does try will be derided as a poor attempt at using AI, and he'll be savaged on social media, quite likely the most by those people claiming to believe in him.

"Dad", he'll say.
Yes son?
"We need another Flood".
...
"And for the love of you, do it properly this time".

But, since Jesus isn't real and he's not coming back, I guess we'll have to either do it ourselves or wait for "the environment" to clean up the anomaly (which, ironically, may eventually take the form of a massive flood).

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C Ferris, 2nd November 2025, 08:59

Does this mean you can trundle around their fields with your Bubble car :-)

Zerosquare, 2nd November 2025, 09:13

You should have lit this pumpkin on your neighbor's garden!

jgh, 2nd November 2025, 19:32

Punpkin? Pah! Real Bits use a turnip, with the ever-present danger of slicing your fingers off as you hollow it out.

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