Lyrics

This looks best with tables, but will work okay without them. :-)

 

I, Richard Murray, have a habit of writing filks. Take a perfectly reasonable song (well, some of them are debatable) and devise new words. Sometimes geeky, sometimes strange, sometimes incomprehensible (you know, like "Spoonful").

 

There are eight songs currently available. More will be added as they are written.
Last update, 31st October 2000 <oooohhhhh!!!>

 

 

Coding

by Richard Murray (December 1998)
(loosely (!) based on "So Young" by the Corrs)
 We were taking it easy,
 programming in C, yeah!

 We are hackin' it up,
 optimising anywhere!

 We are coding for pay
 or because we feel like it.

 We are spending all of our nights
 drinking caffiene, oh yeah!

 And it really doesn't matter that we don't eat!
 And it really doesn't matter that we never sleep!
 No, it really doesn't matter, really doesn't matter at all...

 'cos we are coding now, we are coding, coding now!
 And when tomorrow comes, we can do it all again.
    

 

No More Compilers

by Richard Murray (June 1998)
(to the tune of "No More 'I love you's" by Annie Lennox)
      (doobi-doobi-doop-doop-doop, ah-ah
       doobi-doobi-doop-doop-doop, ah-ah
       doobi-doobi-doop-doop-doop, ah-ah)
 I once was a programmer
 in those golden days.
 I used to ignore deadlines,
 and so restless nights.
 My aching brain would bleed
 when I write my C.

 Woah, but now...
 (I do find myself bouncing 'round advocating the glories of BASIC V!)

 No more compilers.
 The language is leaving me.
 No more compilers.
 It's time to use interpreted code.


 I used to have daemons
 in my dreams at night.
 Pointers, typedefs, pointers,
 so many monsters!

 Woah, but now...
 (I do find myself bouncing 'round advocating the glories of BASIC V!)

 No more compilers.
 'language is leaving me.
 No more compilers.
 The language is leaving me, thank goodness.
 No more compilers.
 It's time to use interpreted code!


 No more compilers!
 The language is leaving me.
 No more compilers.
 The language is leaving me, thank goodness.
 No more compilers.
 It's time to use interpreted code!
 Interpreted code.

 No more compilers!
 The language is leaving me, leaving, leaving, leaving me!
 No more compilers!
 The language is leaving me!
 No more compilers!
 It's time to use interpreted code.

 BASIC five code.
    

 

Imagination

by Richard Murray (December 1998)
(to the tune of "Viva forever" by The Spice Girls
 Do you still remember how we used to be?
 Coding together, hacking forever, oh the beauties of C.
 Both of us were dreamers, think we'd be Bill Gates,
 making the money, and being famous but... we'd only just begun...

 Imagination, always be mine.

 Coding forever, never stopping,
 keep on going, pain and ache.
 Live forever, got to do it,
 always hoping, for our break!


 Yes I still remember, the initial spec.
 Fiddle it here and cut a few corners there,
 just to save a few dollars.
 The bosses just talk rubbish, don't ever trust them.
 Promises made, every memory saved,
 in that harddisc in my mind.

 Imagination, always be mine.

 Coding forever, never stopping,
 keep on going, pain and ache.
 Live forever, got to do it,
 always hoping, for our break!


 So we're growing old now, still we are unknowns.
 I shall soon die, just a keyboard monkey.
 It is such a tragedy.

 Imagination, always be mine.

 Coding forever, never stopping,
 keep on going, pain and ache.
 Live forever, got to do it,
 always hoping, for our break!


 Coding forever
 Never stopping
 Keep on going
 Pain and ache
 Live forever
 Got to do it
 Always hoping
 For our break
    

 

Big Big Byte

by Richard Murray (December 1998)
(to the tune of "Big Big World" by Emilia)
 I'm a big big bit in a big big byte
 It's not a big big thing if you load me
 But I do do feel that it do do will
 hurt me much
 Hurt me much


 I can see the first load coming
 Shift me into page zero
 Why have you put me here?
 Don't ask me to be a hero

 I'm a big big bit in a big big byte
 It's not a big big thing if you OR me
 But I do do feel that it do do will
 hurt me much
 Hurt me much


 Now I'm at eight thousand
 The program code entry point
 Soon I will be branched to
 Just self modifying code

 I'm a big big bit in a big big byte
 It's not a big big thing if you EOR me
 But I do do feel that it do do will
 hurt me much
 Hurt me much


 I have the processor now
 Feel the power
 But when I next look around
 PC's gone


 I'm a big big bit in a big big byte
 It's not a big big thing if you store me
 But I do do feel that it do do will
 hurt me much
 Hurt me much


 Yes, I'm a big big bit in a big big byte
 It's not a big big thing if you STR me
 But I do feel that it will
 hurt me much
 Hurt me much
    
This one is rather specific to the RISC OS architecture (program addresses 'plexed at &8000 et cetera); for which I make no apologies!

 

I can do that

by Richard Murray (3rd April 1999)
Written one day on uk.misc.tv.buffy-v-slayer, it is a rewording of the end of
"I'd do anything for love (But I won't do that)" by Jim Steinman (performed by Meat Loaf)
This, rather specifically, was written in response to the Season One finalé of Buffy.
 Will you raise me up?
 Will you help me down?
 Will you bring me back to life if I should drown?
 Will you help me kill the Master?

 (oooh - oooh - I can do that)

 Will you arm by crossbow?
 Will you sharpen my stakes?
 Will you comfort me for all the lives the vampires take?
 Can you show me a better world?

 (I can do that - nah-yah-I can do tha-a-aa-aa...)

 Will you stand beside me?
 Will you fight the demon?
 Will you look in your books and tell me what it means? (hah!)
 Will you give me a little help?

 (oh-oh give you a little help oh-oh)

 Sooner or later you'll come to realise
 There is a story, a little prophecy
 I shall die, oh, that will be the end of me
 D'you think it'll hurt?

 (no-no)
    

 

Onward American Soldiers

by Richard Murray (29th July 1999)
(to the tune of "Onward Christian Soldiers")
 Onward American Soldiers
 Marching off to war
 We will kick your asses
 As we did before

 With our guns and hand-grenades
 And our Apaches
 We will ruin your country and claim a victory!

 (dum, dum, da-dum-da-da-dah!)
 Onward American Soldiers.....

    
(I can't remember how the rest of the original song goes...
which is probably just as well!)

 

Oh mummy I did promise

by Richard Murray (29th July 1999)
(to the tune of "Oh Jesus I have Promised")
 Oh mummy I did promise
 To be back at eight o'clock
 But I got kinda hungry
 And stopped at the fish shop

 And then a bright light hit me
 I know I was in trouble
 when I saw myself rising up out of the atmosphere

 Oh mummy I am sorry
 I got an anal probe
 These weird dudes sat me down
 And told me to disrobe

 Then they came at me with
 these hideous metal things
 And that was the moment that it became so very clear

 Oh mummy I am sorry
 I got a sex change
 It was either that or
 get my mind rearranged

 Well you always told me
 that girls had more fun
 So shut up with your moaning, I'd have thought you'd understand
    
(and who, after reading this, will be able to sing that at church and keep a straight face?)
PS: If you find hymn filking to be offensive, be aware that I'm not a religious person, so anything is open game to be filked. Heck, I'd do the Lord's Prayer, if it had a decent tune...

 

Baby one more time

by Richard Murray (20th August 1999, 01:45h!)
(to the tune of "Baby one more time" by Britney Spears)
 
Sorry Britney, but it was begging to be done!
 
Note - if this doesn't appear to scan quite correctly, you are not saying it right.
Try shortening/holding syllables and/or shifting the emphasised syllable.
 (oh baby baby
  oh baby baby)

 Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know
 you didn't like S and M?
 Oh baby baby, I shouldn't have agreed
 to wearing those handcuffs
 Show me how you want to beat me
 Tell me baby, how much pain it will cause me tonight

 Chains, leather, come bondage me
 (and I) I want to be whipped, until I scream ('til I scream!)
 Oh when you squeeze me I lose my mind
 Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time


 Oh baby baby, our sex has become boring
 (mmm) Hey, you have got me crying
 Routine, mundane, you beat me and I beat you
 Is that the best we can do?

 Show me how we can improve this
 Tell me baby, 'cos my heart is straying now because

 Chains, leather, come bondage me
 (and I) I must be whipped, until I scream (whip me now!)
 Kill me then bring me back to life
 Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time


 (oh baby baby
  oh baby baby)

 Oh baby baby, you expected me to grow
 But baby baby, I'm gonna let you have it

 I must confess you're a useless jerk
 You're killing me now, don't you know I hate your guts?
 Oh, you are useless!
 I asked for a sign, to hit me baby one more time

 But you could not even do that
 I decided to poison your tea (poison your tea)
 You will be stone dead in one hour
 So come on baby, come and hit me one last time

 I'm standing here, you're standing there
 You're clutching your neck
 I know I still have faith, one of these days
 You might do it right
 Hit me baby one last time
    

 

We're going to eat pizza

by Richard Murray (25th September 1999, 00:10h)
(to the tune of "We're going to Ibiza!" by The Vengaboys)
 Don't wanna eat no green stuff, no salad
 I wanna eat something decent now, Italian
 What d'you say, we get a take-away?
 A pizzierie, just the thing!

 I look at the menu, ignore the price
 Just can't decide what, what do you think I should drink?
 What d'you say, we get café latté?
 With sugar, and make it strong!

 Woah! We're going to eat pizza!
 Woah! Pepperoni too!
 Woah! Three diff'rent kinds of cheeses!
 Woah! And pineapple pieces too!

 Ee-oh! Ee-oh! Garlic bread! Garlic bread!
 Ee-oh! Ee-oh! Garlic bread! Garlic bread!
 Ee-oh! Ee-oh! Garlic bread! Garlic bread!
 Ee-oh! Ee-oh! Garlic bread! Garlic bread!

 I sink my teeth in to this pizza, oh the taste.
 It's really very nice to eat, mozzarella.
 What d'you say, we come here ev'ry day?
 That sounds like a great idea-aaa!

 Woah! We're going to eat pizza!
 Woah! Pepperoni too!
 Woah! Three diff'rent kinds of cheeses!
 Woah! And pineapple pieces too!

 Woah! We're going to eat pizza!
 Woah! Pepperoni too!
 Woah! Three diff'rent kinds of cheeses!
 Woah! And pineapple pieces too!

 Woah! We're going to eat pizza!
    

 

I don't like illness

by Richard Murray (Hallow'eve 2000)
(to the tune of "I Don't Like Mondays" by The Boomtown Rats)
 The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to override
 And nobody's gonna go out today, afraid they are gonna die
 The doctor doesn't understand it
 He always said it was just a cold
 And he can see no reasons
 But there are good reasons
 If he just listened when he was told, woah-oh-oh-oh

 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 I wanna di-i-i-i-i-i-sinfect this place!

 The telex machine is kept so clean as it types to a waiting world
 First one big city and then another, they watch as this tragedy unfurls
 People turning a lurid green
 Now I ain't gonna go and catch this cold
 'cos there are good reasons
 Plenty of good reasons
 If you just listen to what you're told, woah-oh-oh-oh

 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 I wanna di-i-i-i-i-i-sinfect this place!
 This place, spray this place!

 Now the people stop in the underground
 They can see the symptoms all around
 Run in blind panic, you don't wanna catch it
 But the end result is you're gonna die
 Oh the fires crackle and the chemist tackles
 With the problems of the hows and why
 And he can see no quick cure
 There is no antidote
 He's afraid we're all going to die, die, oh-oh-oh

 This virus was made in a labrat'ry to kill the enemy
 Oh, it has backfired and is killing us all
 I guess we get what we deserve
 Oh, the doctors just don't understand it
 Yeah, they all thought it was just a cold
 And they could see no reasons
 But there were good reasons
 If they just listened when they were told, woah-oh-oh-oh

 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like, I don't like
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like, I don't like
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 Tell me why I don't like illness
 I wanna di-i-i-i-i-i-sinfect this place!

 (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-oooooh)

 

I would be interested in any feedback you care to send me.


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