It is the 1691st of March 2020 (aka the 16th of October 2024)
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The world ended today, but only if you are a lunatic!
Some widely published quotes. First, from Mark Biltz (who founded the "El Shaddai Ministries"):
In Jewish tradition, a total solar eclipse is a warning to the gentiles and a sign of judgement on the nations.
and
When we look at where the darkness will be, it will be in northern European countries like England and Sweden where we see the rise of Islam and anti-Israel sentiment. Europeans especially should take heed.
and my favourite, just in case there was any doubt as to the message:
It's the same day that there was the grand-opening ceremony of the tabernacle of Moses, with fire from heaven lighting the altar. Historically this is a day of judgement.
Really? Moses' tabernacle was opened on March 20th 2015? Wait, shouldn't that be future tense, then? The thing is, not only is biblical interpretation often skewed, but the calendar has been messed with so much that you could practically pick any day and say "this has significance". Case in point - when was Jesus born? December 25th? Bzzzzt! WRONG! Shepherds don't watch their flocks at night (Luke 2:8) in the middle of winter. Plus, Mary and Joseph had gone to Bethlehem (Luke 2:4) to pay taxes (though some reckon this also means registering in a census) which also would not have taken place in winter. The actual date is debatable, but somewhere between late Spring and early Autumn makes more sense.
Now over to Bob O’Dell (who runs a Christian web site called "Root Source"):
The North Pole can't really be called the territory of any particular nation or people. This is likely a message from God to the entire world.
Really? A message from God? Wow. But why so random and obscure? Why not just, you know, swap Mars and the Moon for a few hours, fiddle the aurora so it reads "God Rocks!" if you look at it from Swindon, sort out the Apple/Samsung problem by turning the CEOs of both companies into Agent Smith.
No. Nothing like that. Just a logically explainable, predictable-in-advance celestial phenomena which predates our dumb species never mind Christianity.
Bob continues:
A total solar eclipse at the North Pole on the first day of spring occurs once every 100,000 years.
which means...
there has never been such a solar occurrence in human history
But, wait, there's so much more. Not only is it a total solar eclipse over the North Pole and the vernal equinox, but it is also a new supermoon. Oh My God! It's true! I think I just had an accident, but there's no need to be embarrassed, the world ended earlier today. This totally confirms it!
Like hell it does.
Remember 2012? The Mayan calendar has an overflow problem which obviously meant the end of time (rather than a calendar implementation problem) and as such, the world ended.
Funny. I could have sworn it is 2015 now. Which meant that the world did not end and the fantastical sky fairy did not come and judge us.
And, here we are. The evening of the 20th. For me, the eclipse was minor. Not that I saw anything, thick cloud. It just sort of went a bit darker, but weirdly it didn't get lighter again afterwards. It stayed dark and then it rained. Lovely.
Here is a view looking out the staff break room window at the closest we got to "totality":
Having said that, there is always another possibility. I will list them here, pick which you like:
I am God and as such, I decided that today was not a good day to end the world. The daffodils are up, sakura is coming, winter may be giving its last sigh.
If I was going to end the world, I'd do it on a crappy day in which nothing remotely interesting ever happens, like, say, the 16th of December.
This is all imaginary. There is no world. Everything that I perceive is just a set of interacting constructs inside my head. None of this is real. Maybe I was hit by a car when I was a child and I am really lying on a hospital bed in a coma. This "reality"? Totally made up. Why am I wasting time writing this rubbish? You won't read it, you're not real...
(uh... wait... isn't this indirectly implying that, for this so-called reality, "I am God"?)
IQ bonus: The title reads: The world ended today, but only if you are a lunatic!
The word "lunatic" is derived from the late Latin "lunaticus" which means moonstruck or moon sick (luna (moon) + ticus (of the/pertaining to)). This is because people, dating back to Aristotle, believed that those inclined to insanity would go completely doolally at times when the moon was bright and provided light when it should have been dark.
People believed that the moon was responsible for a variety of mental illnesses (and other ailments) into the 18th century, though the connotations persisted far longer.
This is why crazies (or "the mentally unsound" to give it the modern politically inoffensive name) were originally locked up in places known as a "lunatic asylum".
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GAVIN WRAITH, 22nd March 2015, 11:26
The word "lunatic" is late Latin, and according to my OED came into English from French. The verb "lunare" means "to bend into a moon shape". Thus "arcum luna" means "string your bow". So "lunatus" means "bent into a crescent". So I would guess that "lunatic" ( the -ic is a Greek adjectival suffix) originally meant "bent-minded" rather than "moon-struck". You can rely on me for pointless etymologies any time.
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