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That's it, I'm dead, you're dead, we're all dead

I went to the BBC Weather site to check the weather forecast for Nantes because, well, I think I've had enough rain, don't you?

This is what greeted me. My manner of death. It isn't pleasant.

What?!?
What's that wind speed?!?

What I do know: The number reads 4,442.

What I don't know: If that's in miles per hour or kilometres per hour, if there are digits following.

What I do know: Neither of the above unknowns are relevant. Winds blowing at 4,442 mph or kph are "scrub the landscape down to bedrock" speed winds.
The strongest hurricane ever recorded was Patricia in October 2015 which had sustained winds of 215mph (345kph), tying with Typhoon Nancy (1961).
The highest tornado wind speed recorded was in 2013 in Oklahoma where it was measured at 336mph (540kph).
The blast wind of a nuclear blast can reach around 620mph (1,000kph).

Assuming it is mph because it's a British site, what the Beeb thinks is coming (should be here right now!) is seven times faster than that. To put this into context, the wind will be moving at just under two kilometres per second. If you speak funny measurements, that's about 6,500 feet per second or a little under 4,000 knots.

Actually, it's the sort of wind speed that would generate enough friction to cause things to start to combust. So everything will be churned, torn, and superheated with wind speeds at Mach 5.7. Yup, nearly six times the speed of sound. On the plus side, you'll be ripped apart before you have the chance to hear it coming. So there's that, I guess.

 

What?!?
A little hiccup.

There will, as you can see, be a brief pause on Saturday, before it starts up again.

 

To blow until...

What?!?
The end is in sight.

...next Thursday.

Winds at nearly Mach Six for the next six and a half days? I'm not dead, we're all dead.

This isn't... quite... how I imagined the apocalypse. But 4,442mph winds for nearly a week sounds a lot like the angry sky fairy hitting the Reset button, doesn't it?

 

Bye.

Was nice knowing you.

But aren't you sorry you spent five minutes reading this crap in what might be your final moments?

Seriously, turn your screen off and go hug your cat.

Don't have a cat? Shame on you. Next you'll tell me you're a <shudder> coffee person.

 

 

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David Pilling, 10th October 2024, 22:04
Should we be surprised no one error checked the range of values allowed for wind speed - maybe 0..500. Ah well it will teach people not to trust computers. At least the wind blobs turned black (speed>50 ? ). Hackers to blame, sowing mayhem etc.?
Rick, 11th October 2024, 14:30
Apparently there was a '1' missing from the start of the number, so 14,442 miles per hour wind. Nearly nineteen times the speed of sound, or six and a half kilometres per second. 
I'm dead, you're dead, *EVERYTHING* is dead. 
Those are the sorts of speeds where the air will superheat into plasma (like spacecraft re-entry). 
David Pilling, 11th October 2024, 19:35
But on the bright side, think how much energy one could extract from the hyper-sonic wind.
A tree-dwelling mammal, 12th October 2024, 22:03
I don't have a cat. And I drink coffee. Proper coffee. Made in an espresso machine with a pump. The kind of thing that will strip the lining off your stomach, and for the unwary, will cause sleep to become a distant and fading memory.
Rick, 12th October 2024, 23:49
One of the joys of ADHD is that sleep is like being dosed with coffee without having to put up with the taste of coffee... 
 
As for the stomach lining effects, well, funny you should say that. *Proper* tea does that to uninitiated Frenchies who are used to coffee. There's a reason I tell them "thirty seconds". Of course they don't listen because their shitty excuse of tea needs minutes, and they see my teabag in the cup I bring in the morning that's been sitting there for the entire twenty minute journey...but I'm used to it. That's proper morning tea, that is.
A tree-dwelling mammal, 14th October 2024, 20:39
Yes - but I like the taste of coffee. Again, I'm talking about proper coffee here. Made in an espresso machine, one shot of which has around 200mg of caffeine in it. Pour that into a mug full of hot milk (preferably steam heated) and it'll keep you going all day. 
 
Put a double shot in (so 400mg of caffeine at one hit) and sleep will be a distant memory. 
 
For comparison, a can of Red Bull (other energy drinks are available) has somewhere around 100mg of caffeine. Slightly more than a decent quality instant coffee but not as much as a cup of filter coffee - and about half what you get in a single shot of espresso. 
 
Now, tea... 
 
Yes, I drink tea, sometimes. I'm very particular about how I like it: 
 
- Take a large teapot, preferably insulated. Add 3-4 heaped spoonfuls of LOOSE tea (not teabags!) 
 
- Boil a kettle full of freshly drawn filtered water. 
 
- The moment the kettle boils, pour it into the teapot. 
 
- Leave for AT LEAST 7 minutes to brew properly. 
 
- Pour whole milk into the bottom quarter of a large mug. Add sugar to taste (I have two). Use whole milk, not semi. (And don't try using gold top when making tea as the cream won't dissolve.) 
 
- Add the now-brewed tea to the milk / sugar, stirring the whole time. 
 
- Take one Rich Tea biscuit. Dunk, bite, enjoy. Repeat to taste. When you get bored, drink the tea. 
 
And to settle the old argument: 
 
1. When you're making tea in a pot, add the milk first. Always. Without fail. 
 
2. When you're making tea in a cup with a teabag, add boiling water first, let it brew, remove the teabag, add sugar to taste, add milk. Don't put the milk in first. It'll lower the water temperature below boiling and ruin your cuppa. And don't leave the bloody tea bag in the cup while you're drinking it!
jgh, 19th October 2024, 20:33
Tree: +1 
 
Black tea needs to steep in near-boiling water. I've lost count of the number of people who "helpfully" make me a cup of tea by dunking a teabag in cold milk. Many of these being catering managers aka "dinner ladies"! 
VinceH, 19th October 2024, 23:02
The best way to make tea is to make coffee instead. 
 
Also: I'm very much a dog person - though I can't have one where I live unless it's a 'support' animal. As for cats, not only do I not have one, I do not want one. I don't like them beyond finding them tolerable if visiting someone who does have any. 
A tree-dwelling mammal, 20th October 2024, 00:42
VinceH - agree 100%. Tea is a huge faff. I only make tea if I've got friends round who want tea, then I make a pot. Otherwise it's coffee all the way.
Rick, 20th October 2024, 06:51
Huge faff?!? Grab mug, throw in teabag, add sugar, add water, leave for desired amount of time, remove teabag, add milk if you do. 
 
It's a lot less faff than dealing with a coffee machine, unless you're a pod person (but that's hardly *fresh*).
VinceH, 20th October 2024, 09:44
Laziness means coffee and tea are similar in terms of the amount of faff for me - that means the comparison is teabags Vs instant coffee. I prefer real, fresh coffee, but instant is much quicker. And cheaper; I'm usually a big fan of watching the pennies! 
 
So it boils (!) down to taste, and I much prefer coffee - especially factoring in the way tea can differ from one person making it to the next. 
 
I grew up drinking tea, but I always found it a bit hit and miss, and I often found I was making myself drink something horrid out of politeness when drinking it as a guest in someone else's house - so I carried on with tea at home (I liked it how mum - usually - made it, which unsurprisingly became my method) and always opted for coffee when out. 
 
And I realised two things. 1) I enjoyed a good cup of coffee, which I didn't with tea. 2) I can even enjoy coffee when it varies from the ideal, which definitely isn't the case with tea.
A tree-dwelling mammal, 20th October 2024, 10:50
I'm with VinceH on this one. If I'm drinking tea it has to be pretty much perfect. An 'average' cup of tea is a bit "meh". Whereas an average cup of coffee is still drinkable. 
 
It's like I always say, whilst a bad cup of coffee is worse than a bad cup of tea, it takes effort to make a good cup of tea, but it takes considerable effort to make a bad cup of coffee. 
 
(We'll just skip past people who pour boiling water into coffee rather than letting the water go off the boil, shall we?) 
 
Rick - I don't use pods. Apparently my espresso machine will take pods instead of grounds, but I've never used that feature on it. Besides, instant coffee these days is pretty decent if you get the good stuff: 
 
Boil kettle, grab mug, add coffee granules, add sugar to taste. The most important part - LET THE KETTLE GO OFF THE BOIL! Then add hot (NOT BOILING) water. Stir, and add milk. 
 
Don't try adding the milk first to bring the temperature down - the granules won't dissolve and you'll be left with dark blobs floating in your coffee. 
 
Did I mention about letting the kettle go off the boil before pouring into coffee? I know I said I'd skip that part, but I changed my mind. (Boiling water will 'scald' the essential oils in the coffee that give it flavour, as a result you'll end up with a very bitter and unpleasant taste. I'll say it again - let the kettle go off the boil when making coffee!) 
 
Do you think I've made the point about 'hot but not boiling water'? ;-) 
 
I'm off to make some coffee now.
Rick, 20th October 2024, 11:45
I find tea really hits the spot. It's not for getting me going so much as remaining calm but also perking up the grey matter. 
So I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this point. 
 
I have had coffee in the past, and even with many spoonfuls of sugar, it was pretty much unsalvageable. Maybe it was boiling water straight into the mug? 😉 
 
Either way, I am a tea person. I've just finished a mug and it's chilly (rainy and damp) so I think I'll go put the kettle on for some more...
A tree-dwelling mammal, 20th October 2024, 14:15
I guess it's what works for you. Yes, tea is calming, but it doesn't have the same "get the neurons firing" as a good strong cup of coffee. 
 
Speaking of calm... a bit back I was stuck in traffic. A friend decided to call me (I have Bluetooth etc so no law-breaking). Of course this mutes the CD. [1] So I find myself getting more and more frustrated, until I told said friend "I'll talk to you later, the traffic is appalling". (Turned out there'd been an accident at a junction further down.) Anyway, call ends, music back on, within 30 seconds I've calmed down. Basically I need my music on when I'm driving to keep me from getting stressed at the utter stupidity of some people who somehow manage to have a driving licence. 
 
[1] I say 'CD' but the car has a DVD-ROM drive, and I've got a selection of DVD-R discs full of MP3 files. 60 albums on one disc, and that's using the maximum quality setting. 
 
You'd probably like coffee the way I make it. Nice and smooth, no bitterness. If you're ever in England again... :) 
 
Which reminds me of the time I was at a friend's and he asked me "how do you like your coffee?" I replied "same as I like my women." 
 
"Oh, very funny - hot and sweet, right?" 
 
"Nope. Ground up and in the freezer." 
 
*silence* 
 
*laughter when he realised that actually no, I wasn't serious, I was definitely joking* 
 
I'm off for some more coffee. I need to finish painting the other side of my living room before I finish the wallpapering next week.
Rick, 22nd October 2024, 14:39
To misquote Jane Austen: If you drink instant coffee, then you don't drink coffee. 

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