Rick's b.log - entry 2024/12/09

Cheesy pasta

Allergens

Lactose intolerant/vegan? You could try to substitute alternatives but I have no idea if these alternatives would work. All I can say is that rice juice (*) and almond juice (*) are bloody dreadful in tea, so you're kind of on your own here. Do let me know how it goes if you try... but, you know, if you can't handle lactose or don't want to eat dairy then maybe - just maybe - this isn't a good recipe for you?

Gluten intolerance? This one is easier. Gluten free pasta exists, and you ought to be able to substitute the flour with corn starch. I think the rule is that you should use about half the amount of cornstarch for the same effect, but you'll need to experiment to find what works best.

* - no, I'm not calling it "rice milk" or "almond milk". Milk comes out of a mammalian nipple, end of.

The pasta

For those of you who have ADHD, please note that the sauce, below, requires constant attention otherwise burnt pan and bad taste. Therefore it might be worth doing what I did and cook the pasta first, then leave it in its pan, strained, while preparing the sauce. Or, you know, if you have a significant other then one person can look after the pasta, the other the sauce. Give the sauce job to whoever has the strongest arms, there is much stirring. Much.

The sauce - ingredients

Sauce ingredients.

That is to say:

• 100g cheddar. I used Cathedral City as it is nicely aged (not that there's a lot of choice over here!). You could try experimenting with other cheeses or mixes, but beware of stringyness. Cheddar is a good all-rounder with a pleasing taste.
  Grated cheese is best, but I didn't feel like dealing with washing a grater so I just cut off pieces. You'll need to melt the cheese, so don't do chunks, do strips and pieces as thin as you can.
• 15g flour. It doesn't take much flour to thicken the sauce.
• 150ml milk. My preference is semi-skimmed, but whatever, as long as it's white and comes out of the back end of a cow, we're good to go.
• 30g butter. Proper butter, not marge. Given it's such a small amount, there's not likely to be much actual difference between salted and unsalted. Plus, there's salt in the cheese, and you should have cooked the pasta in salted water, so... 30g of whatever butter you have to hand.
• Black pepper for taste.
• Optional: Various herbs (basil, thyme, etc) as per your preference. Or be daring and toss in some Tabasco? Up to you.

The sauce - preparation

• GENTLY melt the butter in a pan, stirring constantly.
• When it has melted, add a third of the flour and stir in well.
  Then, add the next third, and finally the last third. Stirring all the while.
• Stir it well for about thirty seconds.
• Now raise the heat level slightly and slowly add the milk, bit by bit stirring constantly.
  Don't add the milk too fast or it'll cool the mixture down too much.
  You'll notice it starting to thicken up when the milk is being added. This is normal.
• Once all of the milk has been added, you'll be stirring something not unlike a weird sort of semolina. Now it's time to add the cheese, so...
• Knock back the heat a little, and slowly add the cheese. Like with the flour, do it in thirds and wait until the cheese added has melted before adding the next part. It's to keep the temperature up. And, in case it wasn't painfully obvious by now, stirring constantly.
• When all of the cheese has been added, sprinkle in the pepper and other stuff as you see fit.
  You're still stirring, right? I never said to stop stirring.
• Finally, it is time to toss in the pasta. Yay!
  If it's freshly strained then you only need to stir it a few times to mix it into the sauce.
  If you strained it and left it while making the sauce, stir it around for a minute or so to warm it up nicely.

Now pour it all into a bowl (you can stop stirring now! ☺) and top with a sprinkle of black pepper, more for visuals than anything else. Feel free to add a sprig of parsley or a pinch of chopped chive if that sort of thing appeals to you.

The finished meal.

TIP! Fill the saucepan with water and a squirt of washing up liquid. Leave it to sit while you're eating. Then when you come back, hot water and a sponge will sort out what's inside.

For you ADHDers, wash the plate and cutlery when you're done. I know full well <cough> from experience </cough> that the typical way dishes are done is by blitzing the lot when you've run out of dishes... but trust me, dried cold anything-with-cheese is a Lovecraftian abomination that would require blood sacrifices to the Elder Gods and mystical incantations to clean. Don't let it come to that. Just go swish some hot water around the bowl/plate as soon as you have finished and it'll be done in under a minute, I promise. ☺
Look at it this way: You're in the kitchen. So's the kettle. A nice cup of tea would be perfect right about now, wouldn't it? Pop the kettle on, wash up the mess while it's heating up, and it'll all be sorted by the time you have a mug of piping hot tea in your hands...

Your comments:

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A tree-dwelling mammal, 10th December 2024, 09:45

My personal "plain" (-ish!) pasta dish:    Cook up a pan full of the butterfly-shaped pasta (farfeille?). Drain thoroughly. Melt some butter over it, and add some fresh ground black pepper.    Transfer to a pasta dish (or a large plate). Cover with grated cheese (mozzarella is best, works with cheddar, or you can get the bags of mixed cheddar and mozzarella). Place under the grill until the cheese is all melted.    Eat and enjoy.    Optionally you can add some shredded ham hock mixed in with the pasta, but it's perfectly ok without.

Rob, 12th December 2024, 21:16

Not sure I'd want to go near anything from the *back end* of a cow. Underside, perhaps.    Recipe is pretty much how I make a cheese sauce, when I have the time, and a tidy kitchen. Was told it was the roux method. Makes for a tasty dish.

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