Rick's b.log - entry 2010/06/28

How do you say that in French?

She was horrified.

Well... I dunno. Google translate says that meant "playful".

So I thought - how would I describe myself? I know. Quirky. I rank fairly low on the Zooey Deschanel scale of quirkiness, but I'm proud to be a little more than boringly normal.
[notice - psychology students - that I see it as more than normal, not less than...]

Problem.
There is no French word for quirky. I can call myself a lunatique, or biscornu (which actually means crooked (as in a crooked deal)). Or by the phrases "tout en finesse" or "en faux fuyants". Given fuyant means elusive, I figure, even with 'faux' prefixed, it will be far from an ideal translation.

So I look it up in Wiki, which was amusing...
The first five are in most people regarded as eccentric:

• Nonconforming attitude - check!
• Creative - yup
• Intense curiosity - uh-hu
• Idealistic - I'd say leaning towards cynicism, but it's an ideology, no?
• Happy obsession with a hobby or hobbies - one of my ancient pseudos was "The Happy Hacker"
• Known very early in his or her childhood they were different from others - damn right, I'm me
• Highly intelligent - I'd like to say so, others might disagree :-)
• Opinionated and outspoken - in person, no. in this electronic reality, yeah, kinda...
• Unusual living or eating habits - no comment!
• Not interested in the opinions or company of others - :-)
• Mischievous sense of humor - which is what the girl was getting at
• Single - I'm not single when I have myself for company... oh, wait...
• Usually the eldest or an only child - only

I don't do wordplay, a trend classic to eccentrics and hackers alike (Split-P soup being a lovely example). I have accepted some Japanese onomatopoeia into my speech (doki-doki, kira-kira...), but this isn't a big deal given how few people ever actually listen to me... <sigh>

But, at the end of it, we arrive at a possible word. Eccentric.
I'd have prefered Quirky, as the connotations are subtley different. But, tant pis, we'll just go for the word "Excentrique".
At the end if it all, she looked at me and said "Ah bon?". <sigh>

Quirky or a mass murderer?

Anyway - point is, there was a list of "classic danger signs" that people should watch out for. Single, lives with mother, likes wearing black, likes specific types of music, blah-de-blah. And, you know, I pretty much ticked all of those boxes too.
Does that make me viable as a suspect for the next school or workplace shooting?
Like f*** it does.
I don't have the list to hand, so I'll go by what I remember, with annotations.

• Single. And? Unlike some people, I don't have the desire to lay every girl I come into contact with. I am happy to wait for the right girl, even if this risks me dying a virgin. Why? Because of those people I know, few are happily married, more are putting on a facade but argue about trivialities when they think nobody is listening, more are divorced - some bitterly, and a couple never settled down with anybody. One got HIV and died of pneumonia.
  I can do without that sort of thing. A relationship should be something happy (idealistic, no?).
• Lives with parents/mother. Yup. We look after each other in a way. She spent many years of her life caring for me, and as she gets older there will come a day when the roles are exchanged. As for my male role model, father is dead. So you see, there is a logical reason to this too.
• Likes wearing black. It isn't just a hacker stereotype, I have always liked wearing black. Perhaps it makes me a little less noticable?
• Likes pain-laden rock. I'm no fan of Marilyn Manson or Slipknot, but I like Evanescence. Different people express their pain in different ways. Some people get angry, some people wail. And there we have the fundamental difference between rock and country.
  Some people like stuff that can't even be described as "music" (I would point my finger at a lot of Ministry of Sound productions here). But oddly enough, as childish as it seems, I also like Dango Daikazoku, along with the pain of Chihiro Onitsuka and the perkiness of Ai Ōtsuka. I may have a highly eclectic taste in music, but I don't think I'm alone. Even a hardened emo will have something they like that is way off of the expected, even if they aren't quite brave enough to stick it into their playlist.
  Addendum: I don't so much like artists as specific songs. For example, when I was younger I "generally liked" Erasure and The Pet Shop Boys. Some of their songs were great, while others were stink beyond the telling of it. I "generally like" Jewel, even if this means I need to purposefully overlook the religious leanings in her more recent songs (gee, an album called "Spirit", there's perhaps a clue in the title?). Throw in Laura Pausini and... well, you get the point. Some of the music I like is seriously heavy emotion, some is upbeat, some sounds like a child who's missed a week of her Ritalin. It spans loads of genres and decades and <cough> languages. So don't just pick the one that fits the preconception.
• Loner. Pretty much a way of life. I spent years feeling misunderstood, which evolved into no longer really caring. I know my logic process frequently makes blinding sense and, equally frequently, makes a sort of sense that people are shocked by. I am fairly blunt, and pretty tactless. But only in writing, like here. In person, I can pass a day with barely saying a word out loud. That's just the way I am. I guess until Perfect Girl comes along, I'll be alone. Oh well.
• Other stuff... I forget.

So, there you have it. I'm happily quirky, but no murderer. It's all a bunch of lame-ass profiling anyway. A "compelling" (in their minds) reason to differentiate people now that it is illegal to openly discriminate on skin shade, sexuality, or gender. And, like the wanton desctruction of civil liberties in the hunt for terrorists (who mostly don't exist) and paedophiles (who mostly don't exist), a mass voice of society (which has oft been shown to be dumber than even the stupidest members of said society) will be all for stamping out those who could prove to be a threat to their way of life. Meanwhile the ones who really threaten to destroy said society - the CEOs and magnates and investment bankers... they are idolised, living in the realm of a supposed glory. Having damn nearly destroyed the economy of an entire country, leaving its citizens with unimaginable debt, plus bursting the bubble in countries across the globe... these are people we're supposed to respect? What was I saying about society being stupid?

Heh, and people accuse me of not being "normal". If this is what normal is, then I'll take that as a compliment!

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