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Cheesy nightmares

Last night, before bed, I ate an entire pack of cheddar slices. Six thick slices, maybe 250g or something?
Why? Well, I'm a bit of a nightmare fetishist. If it's creepy and/or weird, then I'm interested. Unless it's seafood, that's just gross, please stop eating soggy bugs.

Cheese has a reputation for causing nightmares. Granted, it's probably the same sort of reputation as wanking makes you go blind or eating the crusts on sandwiches makes your hair go curly. But because I was too lazy to make a real meal in the interest of experimentation I fervently tore open the pack of cheese slices and devoured them with abandon.

I woke up in the middle of the night screaming in terror...

Nope. Actually nothing happened. I woke at about four for a pee, and then again at about quarter to seven just before the alarm goes off. Freaky dreams? None. Terror? Incontinence? Soiled sheets? Heart attacks? Zombies? Bugger all.

Quite the disappointment, really.

I noted on the pack that the cheese slices had been aged for two months. Maybe older, stronger, cheese would have a stronger effect? Perhaps I should eat seriously aged cheddar while reading Lovecraft last thing at night, you know, to get me in the mood...although I tend to find my eyes rolling at all of the "these are things of which we must not speak". Maybe that was terrifying understatement in the 1920s? In the 2020s, it just comes across as "something I can't be arsed to describe so we'll just pretend it's so terrifying that it cannot be described" which is just such a cop-out.


Monterey Jack

Speaking of cheese slices, I finally got around to eating a couple of slices of the Monterey Jack that I got from Lidl (rather than melted on a burger).
Let's just say that I won't be buying this again. I think the best way to describe Monterey Jack is to say that it tastes like the bastard lovechild of a non-aged non-mature cheddar and a piece of emmental.

I could make a disparaging comment about what Americans think cheese is given this, and the squirty it-thinks-it-is-cheddar (it isn't) in a spray flask...
...but given what passes for chocolate leftpondian ways, I would imagine I'd be wasting my keystrokes.


That Palestine thing

Only Britain could manage to get itself into such a kerfuffle over how it wants to present the country's foreign policy with regards to the genocide massacre extermination what's the correct word that won't entirely piss off the aggressors that we somehow seem obliged to pander to even though they're acting like crazed murderous bastards?

Anyway, should the government call for a ceasefire? Should they call for a humanitarian pause? Should they pile in some irrelevant crap and then amend those amendments? Should they realise that the rest of the world probably isn't particularly interested in what a little isolated island nation thinks?

But, well, in trying to "do the right thing" and condemn the genocide massacre extermination atrocities in Gaza, they remind us once again how dysfunctional Parliament really is. There are several MPs calling for the Speaker's head on a platter. Because, being Tories, they would fight each other in utterly pointless brinksmanship rather than understand that this situation is far bigger and far more important than the machinations of Westminster.
And, of course, it only serves to further undermine the barely tenable credibility of the country as a whole.

Well done.



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