- entry 2024/08/05

Seriously, Zack?

But this, seriously? I watched the original releases on a long rainy night or two. I am absolutely not going to park my arse for nearly three and a half hours and nearly three hours more just to see a bit more nastiness in this cynical crapsack world...especially when we already know that about a third of this (so, maybe two hours, right?) will be exposition laid over top of slow motion scenes of growing, tending, then harvesting grain. It's visual porn, certainly. Planet porn. Space porn. Agricultural porn. Plenty of candyfloss for the eyes. And, honestly, ending in one of the most batshit crazy (as in dumb) action sequences ever to grace any screen in a film that was made by an actual big-shot movie maker.
The dumbest action sequences of all time might well go to a film I sort-of watched open-mouthed yesterday, "Airplane versus Volcano" or something like that. The action was awful, the dialogue worse, and the acting... well... can we even call it acting? It was terrible, even by the standards of the hokey crap that usually turns up on Legend. I'm just going to tell myself that it was made as some sort of tax writeoff or something.
But, you know, you expect dumb in a movie like that. You even expect dumb in a movie like "Snakes On A Plane" because it's a movie that entirely knows that it is dumb and just rolls with it, and a brilliant performance by Samuel L Jackson (which gave birth to his immortal catchphrase) who looks like he was enjoying chewing the scenery. So much so that the knock-off version "Snakes On A Train" was a failure exactly because when the movie is self-aware and doesn't try to take itself too seriously, a parody is doomed to fail.

But, here, we have a really superbly dumb ending, a case of misplaced honour over any sort of reason, in what is supposed to be a more mainstream movie. I'm being a little vague in case you are one of the few people waiting to watch the Oh-my-God-it's-even-longer! version. But if you saw the ending of the tame one, you'll know what I mean. If you don't, and you're interested, start watching from +1h38m into The Scargiver (original release part two). I don't know how this correlates with the extended release part two. I really don't care.

Okay, okay... for my faithful reader who probably cares even less than I do, it's from +2h21 into the extended second part.

Emmmmaaaaaa.....

So it was quite a pleasant surprise to see Emma Myers (who you may have seen recently as the bouncy colourful Enid in the Wednesday (Addams) series) starring in a YA series doing a bit of detective work, like an English Nancy Drew...complete with the necessary non-American accent. Which, for what it's worth, she did really well.

"The Good Girl's Guide to Murder" is on Netflix (Canada, US, Japan, a lot of Europe, and some other places), BBC iPlayer (in the UK), and was recently broadcast on BBC One/BBC Three. No spoilers please, I recorded it off satellite but am watching it on Netflix (so don't have to arse around getting stuff off the harddisc) and I've only just finished episode two. I'll probably watch another tonight unless something catched my eye...like I've just wasted spent half an hour watching Exploding Kittens. Um...

Thanks, Netflix

The cave

The cave.

Success!

This is the "cave", the dank dark room at the back. And this door probably hasn't been opened in a quarter century. The bottles of wine? There are numerous bottles that are that old, if not older. I have no idea why, considering the partly drunk bottles of whiskey and rum that I found along the way when tidying up...
...neither of us like whiskey (or whisky). Mom liked light Anjou/Nantais wines, I liked rosé from Provence (used to get that from Lidl). Both in moderation. As for stonger stuff, mom wasn't really interested. My idea of a nice stronger was either a local cherry brandy from the Distillery of the West (in Vallet, that closed sort of around when we came over here) or a traditional Bailey's. Again, in moderation. I've only been tipsy a couple of times, and actually drunk and/or hungover never. Mom wanted to tell me I got drunk at the neighbours on their red wine because I damn near passed out and had a crashing headache that followed the next day, but red wine does that to me. I demonstrated by one single glass of the cheapest crap I could find at Lidl. Whatever is in red really messed me up.

And then, years later, mom made the connection between my stomach upsets and when I had a glass of wine with my meals and... okay, I still get a lot of digestive troubles (thanks mom, why couldn't I inherit something useful like your ability to speak three languages fluently, another two at a basic level, and read two more?) but these troubles are nothing like before, and I can usually control it by eating a lot of the stuff that I know I'm okay with. Luckily plain pasta is a comfort food, huh?

Anyway, that was a bit of a detour. Back to the cave. The floor is beaten earth, and on the left a concrete plinth upon which sits a freezer. It is probably rusted up now, I think it dates from the late 70s/early 80s. The previous owners left it for us. There is a wooden thing with shelves, I think it is for storing vegetables, like over the winter. The table is... a table. <shrug> Might be a good addition to the living room if I had a wife and kids, but on my own I don't need an old table that probably has as much woodworm as everything else.
At the far end, behind the breezeblock wall is the old boiler. An oil tank on the left, and the boiler on the right. There used to be central heating, but it froze a long time ago during a harsh winter and, yes, we had drained the system down but a little bit remained (even with the valves left open) and, well, that was enough to fracture cast iron. Plus, the system was rusty and on its last legs so would have needed to be replaced at some point. These days? Oh my, I don't even want to think about the price of oil. If I could afford that, I'd probably be looking at getting a heat pump installed.
The close door can be locked, and the outer door has a big hook to latch it shut (from the inside only). I'll do that, probably, at the end of the holiday. I'm just leaving it open as I'm here all the time at the moment and it would be nice to air it out a little.

This is the part that flooded in the storm, and currently will again if the same thing happens, which I hope won't. It's because the floor level is so low, it is lower than the outside.

The ladder/stairway is the access to the attic. Which is...

Looking up into the attic.

Today

Tomorrow is quiet time at the supermarket, so I'll pop up to the shop. Maybe I'll make myself a cake?

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Gavin Wraith, 6th August 2024, 10:48

Good that you have more space.   We have been in turmoil all year. First, resin injection to stabilize the foundations of the house, then scaffolding to repoint the brickwork and make sure the chimney does not blow down, then new windows and exterior doors. Now we are in the middle of rejigging the kitchen. This means that those things like plates, mugs and cutlery which are normally to be found there are spread out over the house, while the kitchen is full of workmen's tools. We have a temporary kitchen, with a microwave, in the utility room which is normally a laundry. The hetman, and his family, are down with the lurgi, so work has stopped - I hope temporarily. Outside are two overflowing skips. They were due to be removed a week ago, but the skip-man has not turned up despite a stream of messages that he was coming. So we remain, like squatters on a building-site. All this was to fettle our house against old age, but old age has come anyhow.

David Pilling, 6th August 2024, 23:16

Interesting to see the cave - not like I imagined - cavemen with breezeblocks. It is the sort of thing one sees on Channel 4 property programmes. Write in to George Clark or Kevin McCloud and they will come up with a clever design for it.

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